The Bus - Reflections

I never spoke about it.  It has only been in the past few years I was able to start to sort out my feelings about what happened and begin to rationalize the events that transpired and how it affected me as an adult. I was a child, with limited life experience. I trusted everyone. The attention I was seeking was more about needing affection and attention from my father. Although my dad was never cruel to me, he was not particularly engaged with me as a daughter, so I think I sought the approval outside of our family.   

I recognized deep down, that not only would food help me cope when I was feeling anxious or afraid, or sad or mad, but it served to keep boys and men away from me. Away from uncomfortable situations with them, and the hyper-sexuality I felt. I didn’t have the emotional maturity to understand at the time, but I believed if I felt bad about myself by putting on extra weight and didn’t let anyone in, they couldn’t hurt me.   

It was just a year or so after the bus situation, that my whole world seemed to fall apart... 

Did you experience molestation as a child? Did you receive counseling, or were you able to reconcile your own feelings and lead a productive life?

Drop your comments below; I would love to hear from you!